Parental as anything

In a month or so our son turns two.

You might think it’s no big deal, and that we have plenty of time to organise everything. If so, then you’re obviously not a parent.

If you are a parent, then you’re probably wondering why I’m writing this post instead of rushing around organising venues (anywhere but our place), the birthday cake (anything gluten-free with Nemo on it… no, Lightning McQueen… no, Nemo…) and the high-pressure hoses to wash down all the guests with at the end of the day.

Yes, we have to organise all that, and more. And I’m sure we’ll get it all done in time. (We may even get 15 seconds to catch our breath before all hell breaks loose.) But right now I’m thinking about all the things I’ll miss now that he’s growing older. And as you can see from the list, there’s a lot to miss.

I’ll miss being woken up with cries of “Daddy, bottle!” at five-thirty in the morning, because it’s a lot more intelligent than what the breakfast radio announcers come up with.

I’ll miss being able to play entire movies in my head (including the director’s commentary) because I’ve watched them a hundred times—often in the same day. (Note: If anyone reading this post is producing a stage production of “Cars” or “Finding Nemo” and is having casting problems, just let me know when it’s on and what role you want me to play.)

I’ll miss doing my daily exercise routine, otherwise known as “Change the DVD a dozen times because your son doesn’t realise that Cars and Finding Nemo are actually two separate movies”.

I’ll miss the joy of putting all his bottles in the electric steamer, switching it on, and then coming back an hour later to find I forgot to put the water in.

I’ll miss the valuable life lesson that, even though you’re behind schedule because you forgot to put the water in, you should still let them cool a bit before you try taking them out.

I’ll miss all these things because despite them being painful to go through sometimes, at least we know how to do them. For the first time in ages, we actually have a clue what we’re doing as parents. Soon he’ll be entering a new phase of his life, and we’ll be clueless once again.

But at least I’ll have some new movies to memorise.

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